The Gates of Grief: from personal to planetary grief
Grief is a vast and intricate terrain, unique to each individual yet deeply universal. At The Grievery, our work is guided by an understanding that grief is not a singular experience and not only linked to death but a landscape of many entry points—the Gates of Grief. These gates, drawn from the work of Francis Weller, a psychotherapist and author dedicated to grief and soul work, illuminate the many ways we encounter loss in our lives.
Understanding the Gates of Grief
The concept of the Gates of Grief helps us acknowledge that grief does not arise solely from the death of a loved one. Instead, it emerges from many aspects of life, including personal loss, systemic injustice, and the weight of unmet expectations. These gates offer us a way to name and navigate our sorrow, recognizing that each threshold invites us into a deeper relationship with our humanity—individual and collective.
Some of the most commonly recognized gates include:
The Loss of Someone or Something We Love – The most familiar gate, encompassing death, estrangement, or the end of significant relationships.
The Places Within Us That Have Not Known Love – The grief of never having received the love, care, or validation we longed for.
The Sorrows of the World – The grief we carry for collective suffering, environmental destruction, and systemic injustices.
What We Expected But Did Not Receive – The losses that arise from dreams deferred, opportunities lost, or relationships that did not unfold as hoped.
Ancestral Grief – The inherited pain passed down through generations, shaping our stories and ways of being.
The Harms We Have Caused – The grief of knowing we have caused harm to others, whether through actions, inactions, or unconscious patterns.
Each gate reveals a different layer of our sorrow, and together they form a map of how grief lives within us. By naming these gates, we create space to honor all the ways loss impacts us.
If you want to explore these gates further among a group of peers, come join us for the next workshop.
How We Integrate the Gates of Grief
At The Grievery, the Gates of Grief inform the way we design our workshops, gatherings, and one-on-one sessions. Rather than approaching grief as something to be fixed or overcome, we see it as something to be tended—with care, presence, and community.
Guided Grief Gatherings – Our group spaces are designed to hold all forms of grief experiences, recognizing that every person enters through a different gate. By naming these experiences, we create common ground for deep witnessing and belonging.
Themed Workshops – We structure offerings around specific gates, allowing participants to explore particular dimensions of grief, such as ancestral grief or unacknowledged losses.
One-on-One Grief Support – Individual sessions provide space to uncover which gates feel most alive and how to tend to them with compassion.
Grief Guide Training – Our training program includes an in-depth exploration of the Gates of Grief, equipping guides with the language and tools to support others through the many faces of loss.
Tending to Grief as a Practice of Relational Grace + Ritual
At its core, whatever way you participate in coming together is an invitation into shared ritual and relational grace—the ability to meet ourselves and each other with deep compassion, reverence, and presence. By recognizing the many ways grief enters our lives, we create a more inclusive, tender, and resilient approach to community.
All of our gatherings create a space where grief can be expressed communally through storytelling, movement, and other creative expression. Rituals help ground grief, offering a sense of belonging and connection in the midst of loss or change.
Grief is not a problem to solve but a sacred part of being human. Through the Gates of Grief, we honor the full spectrum of loss, making space for what needs to be felt, expressed, and witnessed. At The Grievery, this understanding shapes everything we do, allowing us to support grief in all its nuance and depth.
If you would like to explore these gates with us, we invite you to drop in and be met with care, community, and connection.
